I stare into the mirror and I look at the woman staring back at me. Reflections can sometimes be tainted. Do we really see what is beyond the mirror or do we see the version of ourselves that we want to see?

I blink.

I see a little girl placed in the gifted program in kindergarten- the “teacher’s pet” because she seems to know things without studying.

I blink.

When I look in that mirror, I see a girl of fifteen moving from the big city to the boondocks of eastern Kentucky. She stares back at me as if she is saying “What in the heck have my parents done to me?”.  Yet she excels.  She quickly learns about the supply chain when her parents open a large supermarket. She adapts to her new world.

I blink.

I now see a young woman struggling to juggle college, marriage, two small babies and teaching at the local school.  She questions herself even though she isn’t living the life she dreamed about; she gives 110%.  She inspires her students to achieve their dreams.  Yet hers are going unnoticed.  She stares back at me.

I blink.

I now see a woman who stands proud and tall.  I see someone who runs a company because she was determined to finish her bachelor’s degree thirty-six years after she started it.  She smiles because she knows that she has broken glass ceilings in the transportation industry.  She’s proven herself.  She may not always be right; however, she leads with her heart, her experience and her education.

I blink.

As I look at that reflection, I think of historical leadership theories that we have been reading about this week and wonder which one describes that woman staring back at me.  Is the “Great Man” theory more like her or are the others?  Personally, I think she winks at me and I see the wheels in her mind swirling with the laughter behind her thoughts.  Why isn’t it called the “Great Woman” theory she is thinking.  She has never been a follower.  She has always been the outspoken one.  The one to make decisions.  The one to get the job done.  Was she born this way or did life create who she has become?

I blink.

Then I stare more at that reflection and I see the theory of traits circling her being.  She has energy, passion, and knowledge. She’s judgmental. She has decisiveness. She certainly has self-confidence, integrity, the desire to lead. She is driven.

I blink.

I open my eyes and allow myself to go beyond the reflection.  I recall past experiences that lead the woman who I see in the mirror to exist.  She saw her mother as the top pay earner in the family as her proud father stood by her side.  She saw her former students, who needed her help because they had no one else in their household ask for her assistance. She saw her father, a minister, hold people problems, their hearts and their soul in his loving hands.

I blink as a tear runs down my face.

She saw her life crumble in a span of four months when her husband cheated, her father passed away and her mother was diagnosed with ALS. She saw that the mountain was going to be hard to climb.  Yet, she knew it was just like any other journey- one foot in front of the other. Not only did she climb that mountain, she went to the other side and kept walking.

She learned. She learned from others.  She learned by her mistakes.  She learned from her successes.

I blink.

I see her struggles.  She can’t spell.  She has no clue what a quantitative method is about.  She can’t tell you the difference between MLA or APA format.  Yet she goes on.  To her a leader is someone who can take a difficult situation and become stronger. She is a mixture of the “Great Man” and “Trait” theories.

I blink.

 I think of the song lyrics of Christina Aguilera song “Reflections”.

“Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me when will my reflection show

 who I am inside?”

I blink.

I open up my eyes and smile and think of another song.

“I am woman.  Hear me roar.”